As I see things, lately I have been a pessimistic person. I have had the urge to give up and give in toward everything around me. Whether it has been a job, an argument, family — hell, even life itself. I don’t, though. The reason is pretty simple. The best advice I have ever received is: “Never give up.”

Over many years, I have always had someone close tell me not to give up. Even when I was at high points and low points, I came close. I have been through hell and back. Should I give up? Heck no. Even though some days I almost have. And it only builds resilience when you don’t give into the negative self-talk or the doubts that are created from toxic situations.

There are a few things I do now that help me keep breathing and keep moving forward. First, I remind myself of the reason I started — remembering your “why” makes the smallest steps matter again. I break big problems into small, manageable pieces so I don’t drown in the future I fear; tiny wins add up and give proof that progress is real. When setbacks hit, I try to treat them like lessons, not proof I’m broken. That shift — seeing failure as feedback — makes the next attempt smarter.

Flexibility matters. I learned to change the way I tried things without abandoning what I wanted. When motivation disappeared, discipline carried me through: showing up even when I didn’t feel like it. I picture a day when things are better — that visualization keeps a light on during nights that feel endless. I also learned to celebrate the small stuff again. A messy day with one small victory is still a day closer than the one before.

Support matters more than pride. Surrounding myself with people who encourage me instead of spit on my wounds has been a lifeline. When the voice inside says I can’t, I answer it with truth: “I’ll figure it out.” That change in self-talk is small but powerful. And I keep my long-term view: storms are temporary. The struggle now is part of a bigger story.

I have almost taken my life in different ways. I have been to a psych ward. I have even been arrested at times when I fell into a dark place because I wanted to give up. I fell into some very nasty habits at times where I began to slip through the cracks of reality and actually start to give in to the negative self-talk. I just need to remind myself that it is a trial and I will reach the tribulation at some point.

One concrete thing that helps is giving things time. Regardless of how you feel today, you may not feel the same tomorrow. That’s why people like to sleep on big decisions — rest gives perspective. Sometimes relationships and problems simply need space to breathe. Sometimes the best decision is to step away and heal. Time shifts what seems permanent into something manageable.

If you’re starting to struggle, or if you’re in the middle of it right now, remember: things are temporary. Try to do the best you can in any given situation. Break your problems into bite-sized steps. Keep a circle that lifts you up. Celebrate the smallest wins. Fight the negative voice with facts, not panic. Focus on the long-term vision and let discipline carry you when motivation falters. If what you’re trying to quit won’t benefit you in the long run, keep grinding. If it’s destroying you, have the courage to walk away. Either choice is better than giving up on yourself.

I’ve been through so much that some people would say I shouldn’t still be here. But I am. If I haven’t given up, then maybe you shouldn’t either. Someday you will make it — not because life suddenly became easy, but because you kept showing up, kept learning, and kept refusing to hand your power over to despair. That’s my promise to myself and to anyone reading this: keep going. The trenches are dark, but you can get out of them.

If you are in the U.S. and thinking about harming yourself, please call or text 988 right now to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline — they’re available 24/7. If you’re elsewhere, contact your local emergency services or a trusted professional. You don’t have to carry this alone.